Committing to Quarterly Life Pursuits - An Alternative to New Year's Resolutions
Something about 2020 broke my will to make New Year’s Resolutions. It’s not that I’ve given up hope, or that I’m no longer interested better myself. But it does mean that having concrete goals based on achieving exact milestones may be somewhat… narrow minded.
2020
Last year I made a number of goals. On the Money Muse side they focused on coaching more women, speaking at more events/conferences, and launching an online community. On the personal side, I wanted to focus on living with more ease - lettings things flow to and from me without me chasing them aggressively. This, as a type-A overachiever, was a big goal :)
I made great progress on many of my goals, but here’s the truth:
The goals I achieved, were things I genuinely wanted, and I believe I would have achieved without the act of setting a goal.
The goals I didn’t achieve, were out of my control. I wanted to do tons of in-person speaking events all around the country, and that just wasn’t possible with COVID-19. And yet, I still felt bad about not achieving them.
When I realized that not achieving a goal made me feel bad, even if the goal was impossible, I made a mental note to try to upgrade the system. Sure I could have just swapped the word goal for intentions, but I wanted to go deeper than that. So I created a new system for creating the feelings and experiences I want in my life. If you’re a nerd like me, if you love learning, school, or classes, you’ll probably vibe with this.
The System
Each “quarter” of the year, commit to one weekly activity that fulfills one of the following human needs: mind, body, heart, spirit.
A note about these categories - I’ve heard from my amazing friend and facilitator that these come from the 7 habits of highly effective people. I haven’t read the book, but my understanding of the categories is:
Mind: encompasses mental growth, learning new things, stretching your knowledge or awareness
Body: all physical health related pursuits including exercise, movement, nutrition, food, etc
Heart: anything that brings about a deeper connection with the relationships in your life including friends, family, colleagues, significant others, pets
Spirit: all pursuits that cause your heart to soar, that bring hope, or refill your cup of awe and wonder. These could be religious, spiritual, or other types of practices that bring you growth and expansion.
My Winter quarter activities
Mind: Greek lessons - learning greek is hard and will stretch my mind
Body: Hiking/walking in nature - sort of touches on body and spirit in one, but getting out in nature really uplifts and inspires me, and is great for my body
Heart: Happy hour call with a friend - during covid times, committing to at least one weekly zoom with a friend seemed doable and joyful
Spirit: Horseback riding lessons - nothing brings me more joy and peace than nature and animals. I’ve always loved horses and when I think of riding one out in nature, it makes my hear soar.
How I did it
First I wrote down all the activities that were sparking my interest these days. Anything that brought me joy, anything I was interested in learning, I wrote it down.
Next I roughly put them into groups based on whether they fulfilled mind, body, heart, or spirit. I noticed there was a lot of overlap in the body and spirit category for me.
Next I chose one activity for each category. This was HARD. I wanted to choose everything. But I reminded myself that there is always next quarter…
Finally I asked myself about the time commitment for each activity. How much time did I want to spend on each activity each week? I then put it as a placeholder on my calendar so the time would be dedicated and not slip away.
My results so far
Mind: I’m only 2 lessons in, but the experience has been great. My husband is also interested in learning Greek so it has had the additional bonus of filling up my heart cup a little bit too. So fun!
Body: In January I will have visited 2 of the Texas state parks. Things that were on my list for a long time. Each trip was an incredible opportunity to get out in nature, move my body, and had the unexpected bonus of providing quality time with my husband to talk about deep life topics. Also 1 of these walks ended up as a walk with a new friend (socially distanced) which was a great opportunity to fill my heart cup. Wow, really happy with this so far!
Heart: I’ve only managed 2 zoom calls with a friend this month, but I intend to make up for lost time next week. These have been hit or miss because Zoom is sort of the last place I want to be these days, since all my work is there, but I will keep it up and see how it goes.
Spirit: I’ve only had one horseback riding lesson so far, and it was a bit terrifying. I watched a girl fall off of a horse. I’m not deterred, and still fantasizing about riding my own horse around the hills one day, but it was a scary first experience. I will prevail…